Pin-Drop Silence

Rubber band fights in the back benches is nothing less than a war scene! You fold a piece of paper - fix it on the catapult (the rubber band, i mean) - aim the hell out of the person beside and shooot! The war is on! Well, I was at one such war and it was at its peek. I had found my target, Shoaib. He was sitting right in the front. The paper was fixed, pulled back the trigger and aimed right for a classic head shot inspired from excess Call of duty gaming. There was no way I could miss his head. And shoot! The bullet (the piece of paper) swifts its way towards his head and as it was on its way, Mr. Shoaib bends his head down. The bullet fired, continued its path and went straight to hit the blackboard where Saraswathi ma'am was writing. She was petrified and compared the piece of paper to nothing less than a freekin' shotgun shot. "None of y'all will have classes from now on, if you don't tell me who tried to KILL ME!" - I dint know she absolutely meant every bit of the 'KILL me' part until I held up all my courage and decided to confess. I went to the staff room and stood right in front of her and even before i uttered a word she said "Ayub! That shot would've killed me. Why'd somebody want to kill me Ayub?!"
I confessed and apologized anyway. But it was more like, convincing her to believe I wasn't trying to kill her than an apology.

There is a funny thing about meeting our teachers, they look the same, they talk the same and soon you realize the only thing changed is you. Even though, the previous sentence was inspired from a quote in the movie The Curious case of Benjamin Button, it’s a fact that they are idols that never change and have seen us go through tremendous change right from the Kindergarten. Teacher’s day being celebrated the week past and watching people express their gratitude and love towards the teachers who guided them all their life by updating one's status and tweets; even I was taken aback to my school and college days and my precious days and experiences with my teachers.

This time I have a bunch of classic episodes my friends and I've had with our teachers... And this can’t be told in a better format than the one below.

“Respected Principal, vice-principal, teachers and my dear friends! Today I’m standing before you to talk on the topic...” and it just goes on the epic format for all speeches for a lifetime.

We all know teachers were always two faced! Yeah, i just called them all two faced. The way they are in class and the entirely new person they pretend to be in front of our parents - let it be PTA meetings or a function at school when parents are invited. At one such function at school, Mr. Singh, the fit and handsome physical education tutor was on a roll with the usual conduct. "Attention! Stand-at-ease! Attention! Stand-at-ease! “And the whole school followed the routine. Out of the blue he stops and says, "Schooooooll! Eaasy!".”Woah! What the fuck is that?” wondered all. "Never heard him say that, ever!” None of the students would move even by a bit unless they know what "Eassyy" is. Meanwhile, Singh kept shouting out "Schooooollll Eaasssyy!!" The whole school started murmuring to the awkward situation and he finally gave up and said "Students, please sit down!!”

Ever since then he came to class and explained to us what school easy is supposed to mean. 

Well, that was while I was just a 4^th grader. Earlier to that a friend of mine, Mathew, who is an engineer and one of my childhood friends had a kickass day at school. We were all young (pretty uncertain of the class we were in) But yeah! We were all really young. The teacher walks into a very messed up, noisy class and shuts them all up. You know how she does that, we all know. “Is this a fish market or what!?” “I want pin-drop silence!” (The Epic comparison of classroom to a Fish market and the legendary adjective for silence just lived on and passed from one teacher to the other since generations). Once she shut them all up and promised to take us to Audio/Visual room to watch cartoons if we stayed in the PIN-DROP silence state. Maintaining the silence for like 10-15 minutes she asked “Who doesn't want to watch cartoons?” Ha! Who would ever not want to watch cartoon. Sensing ma’am is in a bad mood, Mathew thought she would be impressed by the kid who doesn't want to watch cartoon! A lil’ did he know he was committing the biggest mistake of his life! :D :D Coz he was taken to the AV room along with all of us and asked to squat right in front of the huge television holding his ears and his head lowered down for the rest of the session while others watched cartoons on the TV. Every time we laugh at a funny scene Mathew would want to watch TV and every time he lifts his head up, gets a smack right on the head by the teacher. Don’t want to watch TV? Anyone?

I’ve had some of the best chemistry teachers ever. They were all muddled in their own way but understanding, fun and a massive reservoir of knowledge. Mr. Samuels was my chemistry tutor back then in eighth grade. One of the classes, he borrowed the text-book from one of the students, while teaching, coz he had forgotten to bring his own. By the end of the hour he had to return the text back to the student. He turns to the front page of the text to find the name of the owner of the book and called out “R.C Mukherjee!” and waited for somebody to respond. Obviously, no one did. Meanwhile, he kept calling out the name and yet, none responds. 'Coz R.C Mukherjee is the Author of the text-book!"  :D :D

Admit it! We were all kicked out of the class at-least once in our school life. And isn't just one way to get kicked out of the class. There are numerous ways for that. One of the grand ways to get kicked out is when you do something while your chemistry ma’am is dictating a chemical equation. She sounded like this.

CaCO3 + CO (burns without air) -> CaOVishnugetoutoftheclass + CO2 

Even though I started off writing the post generally about teachers, the only teachers who rushed in to my mind were the teachers from the school. We literally lived with them and we were as close to them as we were to our parents. Undeniably has a major hand in molding what we are today. And I want to let you people know that we treasure every single moment spent with you people. And you should also know,

When a boy talks to a girl, or a girl talks to a boy, they aren't dating, instead, they're just talking!!

Disclaimer: I've tried my best to describe the episodes in my words. If they weren't funny enough, the usual excuse, “They are all Situation-al jokes!”